Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Rag has really lost its meaning.
In the midst of competing for the best float, or dance, or best overall, the true essence of rag has been lost, either in parts or in whole. To rag is to receive and give, and giving needs to be done in a whole hearted way. It is about putting everybody's talents and expertise into making one big float. It is about showcasing the hard work all the dancers and cheerleaders have put in for the last month. It is about making friends, but most importantly, it is about having fun.
But where is the fun when rag becomes more of a moral obligation, when you decide to help your friend because she was dragged into it due to her kind nature in the first place, or that you decide to help out of empathy when the float is still in shambles even though there is only two days to the dateline. Where is the joy when people are screaming and swearing at each other over small mindless issues? Where is the fun when people start bitching at certain OGs when the turn up rate is low for rag rushes and stuff? Isn't this turning something voluntary to something that is compulsory in nature, in that you get judged when you do not do something you do not feel like doing?
Yet, it can be fun, with a catch to it.
Yesterday was a day of highs and lows.
We were so pumped up and eager to show the crowd after weeks and weeks of numerous rehearsals, trainings, shifting of cardboards, blocking in the hot noon sun, and many times with dirty feet and sticky body. The mood was high and everybody was waiting for our turn on the stage. Then there was a flurry among the dance ICs and the rag head and their faces turned black and gloomy. My heart dipped, as I knew that the music issue from yesterday has clearly not been solved yet, and its like only fifteen minutes to our performance. It was double confirmed when they came up to us and said that if the music was to stop (it really did), we were to sing and dance till the very end. Though there were cheers, I felt sad and helpless, that our efforts for the past month will just not be complete. As we entered the stage, we gave it our very best, and everything went as per planned until the music stopped. We stopped and froze, but my heart literally dropped. They tried to re-loop the music back but it just stopped at that moment. But we knew that we were still performing and we decided to carry on without the music, and we sang the song out and danced the finale together in unison. The crowd was cheering, but I was unsure if that was out of encouragement or if they were impressed, or just out of sympathy. We left the stage, but unsure if the performance was a flop due to the glitch. After the performance, the profs and the seniors came and told us that it was perfect (which we totally can tell that it is out of bias). Then, friends and others came up to us and said (or messaged) that we were in complete unity and all despite the lack of music. That was when we felt very proud of ourselves, proud that we managed to pull it off despite on some errors, and did it with style.
This is when I realise that hey, rag can be fun after all, if we did not have to compete for the best performance, or the best float or what not, having experienced both USP and Pharmacy rag personally. I really had fun making friends and fooling around with all the awesome people, and cared nothing but to perform my heart out on the stage without the need to worry about anything else. People need to realise that rag is not about winning for your own faculty. Its about showcasing your faculty, what you have and to embrace all your shortcomings. There are bound to be other faculties with more people and money, but what matters most is that we do it for the process, not for some stupid cold challenge shield cum dust collector. That said, I don't think any of the floats would be up on time should the competition be cancelled, because competition brings about motivation and drive to complete something, which is kind of an irony in this case, cause competition and charity can hardly go well together.
Having participated both sides of rag (lesser for USP I guess), if you ask me if I would join rag again next year, I will gladly say I will. Its not for the glory for the faculty, or just-to-do-it-cause-everyone-else-is-doing-it, but more for the opportunities to meet new people, the chance to better understand peers and the delicate structure of teamwork, to appreciate each and every other individual well, and in the midst of doing it , be it dance, or engineer work, or to paint egg cartons, or to shift crates around, have fun. I think only when we find joy in rag can we then truly embody what rag is all about.
And after having gone through rag, my 'exciting' freshmen days are over, and I can say I am proud to be in pharmacy, USP and ultimately NUS. (in order though :p).
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Ok I think there is something wrong with me. Jealousy is a real bitch lol.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Sometimes I just wish I was born in a very very v v secluded village, and life's greatest pleasure is to run around, play, climb trees everyday. I really hate having to worry and thinking about certain things at all times, that these things no matter how much I want to shut away keeps coming back to bite and nag at me. Sometimes I wish that I didn't have to deal with such problems, wish that I am not in such a weird position, wish that my life could be smooth sailing and blah blah. But of course, the chances of these wishes coming true is the same as WP winning the next GE (ok fail pun but you get it ^^)
Which goes to show how delusional and unrealistic I can be at times lol.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Ok this is like the only place I can pen down my thoughts for today.
I woke up at like 6ish in the morning even though there was no school, and nope it wasn't to watch the finale of The Amazing Race, but to rush down to SCH for SYF for JC CO.
It has been a good 1 year since I stepped into that place, and the feeling was surreal. After, SCH is the place to be for CO music in Singapore. For the last few times, I entered as a performer. Today, not only did I enter in the capacity of an audience, but also in the shoes of a graduated senior, watching the performance and the results thereafter my fellow juniors will be putting up.
So at 9am we were seated guaily in the SCH waiting for the thing to start. The first school had 23 people only, when the minimum people required was 24. And they had no suona which was like hmm. Pass. Next school was impressive in the choice piece, but it got too noisy and excessively loud in the end (they had 4 da gus btw wts). But overall I think they stunned everyone cause the first school was mediocre, plus they come out with stunts (they had these handheld mini drums and they were shouting). The next school also another loud and noisy song. HCCO was next. They came out and they had new attire (O.O). Ok. They took like the least time to settle down (there was this other school that needed the conductor to shift the stands for them personally, and they keep banging here and there). Not bad. The erhu people even had a small cloth to put on the floor so that they can change their instrument without making noise. Naise. Then off they go, but while changing the erhu, one of the hit the score stand (quite loud some more and it was a soft part). Tsk tsk. But overall their set piece was nice. Then their choice piece. Suona came in bu zhun. Oh no. Then the back part the cymbals never clap correctly, and we started staring at each other. Overall it was ok, but could have been so much better, and the schools in front were not bad (albeit the noisy part), so the risk is there. All of us were like scared to breathe or anything, and to be honest we were quite scared (due to some weird reason)The remaining 6 schools 4 schools chose to go either extremely noisy, or extremely wierd. Noisy (like the school opposite us) to the extent that the entire 5-6 minutes were ONLY made up of suona, 3-4 cha and many drums and shoutings, till the point that my ear is in pain after their entire song.
So after many tries, we tried to go back to listen to the results in the afternoon but they told us we cant cause its not open for the public. But strangely, I was in trepidation, and it felt as if there was certain uncertainty in the air. I really dont know how to explain this, but it felt as if I was one of them waiting for the results. You might think that I am crazy or what, but I guess that after being so emotionally attached to something every single bit of news regarding that still matters to you after all. I was at home when qiyu sent be the message, and I couldn't help but smile. I think the award meant a great deal to the batch as this would be their last SYF and it ended perfectly, just like mine. It also meant a great deal to wei lao shi, after the freaky cat high incident this year, and I can declare that every single member of HCCO will not be where we are today without his guidance and expertise. I can still remember all his analogies, like using a ball point pen to write on the chicken rice wrapping paper compared to a brush on calligraphy paper, or when he tried to speak in english, like fei-ling for feeling, you are eggcellent etc etc, or his teapot in which he will bring for every lesson to pao cha. I remember when I was in Cat High we never really appreciated him, but when I went to HC, everyone adored and really respected him.
When I started out in CO back in Cat High, there were many stuff that deterred me from enjoying the CCA totally. Sometimes it was the idiots who refused to keep their mouth shut. Other times it was their attitude towards their CCA, in that they just join for the sake of fulfilling that particularly requirement. To be honest, I never really enjoyed much and had at times wished that I had joined another CCA instead.
But this point was proven wrong once I stepped into LT3 for my first every CO prac in HC. I can still remember wei lao shi sitting there with a big smile on his face and recalled me instantly, and that many people around me were chatting and were friendly, even though I am like the only guy not wearing either all brown or all white. The vibe was there. However, when weilao raised his hand, everybody stopped their chatter and concentrated on the practice. This was when I realised that these people may be playful and chatty, but they do pay more attention to the music they produce, and it impressed me. I remember that the first prac was to go through the set piece, and we went through once entirely even though it was like the first time ever to touch the score, something that has never happened in CHSCO before (then, not now). Over the next 3-4 months as we geared up to our very own SYF, it made us all realise that SYF is not just a competition. It is a performance, not just for the judges and the audience and the seniors, but to ourselves. It is not about whether you get the GWH or gold or COP (though sadly in our realistic world today it is indeed still a benchmark), but about the things and bonds you gained over the past few months of hard work. In HCCO, we believe that every performance we put up should be the best, if not the very best. I think it is this kind of belief that made every single of us and subsequent batches continue to produce this kind of music and results till today.
Looking back at the juniors on stage today, it really reminded me 4 years ago when we were all on that very stage, performing our pieces for our own SYF. That kind of feeling, till today, it still very difficult to describe. I really miss the times we had with my batch performing together, and sadly, as we carry on with our lives, that chance will never materialise again. Performing with others instead of performing together with a bunch of crazy people that you have bonded with is a different ball game together. Somehow or rather we know that we can rely on each other should we falter, and that we all share the same goal together. Its just sad that there will never be another platform for us to enjoy together as an orchestra again.
Sorry for being so emotional today lol, but couldn't help it haha. 8 years on with 4 GWH. You can say that I am shameless or braggy, but we are the only JC to have gotten all GWH since its introduction, and I am proud to be one of these privileged people, and am proud to be from HCCO.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Ok I feel damn sad now I was searching for my JC Number Series notes as I wanted to show something to my students tomorrow but then when I dug through my entire notes selection IT WAS NOT THERE @#$%^&*@#$%^&&%#%%$^&. I mean I could really care less if not for looking up for something plus it is supposed to have some sentimental value cause it was my FIRST ever JC notes.
I shall continue to find again later tonight (the dust is killing me), but chances are v v v v low :(
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Ok after you hear the Symphony version, hear the CO version LOLs
Ok its been long since I have typed something here.
Enjoy! But I doubt you all will
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
I really feel that things have not been going the way I expected/want after A's. ok maybe except a wee bit, but really. its really disheartening, so dishearting that i am not even capsin the i of the its at the front of the sentence. bleh. sometimes i really wonder if i had done enough, or maybe its just luck, or coincidence or whatever
my life's in quite a mess now bahh :/. here's to more luck in the future, which i doubt it will every shine on me boohoo.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Ok I don't know whether I should be saying this cause I really don't know who knows my blog and such, but I really need somewhere to rant. Yesterday my class has an outing cum dinner to send someone off (felt uneasy, but that's another story), so its sort of a gathering. And if you all have known my class is half KI half GP which mean that half of my class took BCMKI and the other half took BCME with GP(which I am in anyway). So apparently there is a diff between the 2 halves cause we spend like 1/4 of our JC time not with the other and you roughly get the idea, so there is this sort of clique/uneasyness when the 2 halves combine. I am ok with both cause I have quite a few whom I talk to reguarly from both side, so the issue came when we ended our dinner. Apparently we all wanted to go and have dessert, but not with the other half so a few of the GP/KIpeeps-closer-to-GPpeeps-than-the-other-KIpeeps went to spin some tale of sending someone off and sped off, so left me and another 2 GP people behind with the guy we are supposed to send (from GP also) and they told us to catch them afterwards. Like so awkward right? Then the we just had to sneak away and the other half was like in shock cause I think they wanted to go out together as a whole? But the GP half didn't want to cause they not close to them and blah blah. So it was totally wierd and not very nice. I mean the whole point of an outing is to spend time as a class as a wholel, albeit you spending more time with your usual clique or something, but its just not very nice to really split until like that, and for those handful who were ok with either half we didn't know where to go as such. Ok so basically yesterday was just plain wierd and not very nice and bad but its also nice seeing many people. Dont get me wrong cause the KI half is also a nice bunch of people just that we happen to take diff subjects and their english prowess and analytic thinking and chim vocab sets us apart. Ok enough of the rambling lol.
Friday, January 14, 2011
This is my routine for every working day.
0700: Wake up
0740: Leave house
0800: Try to squeeze and get a seat on the empty train
0845: Reach Outram Park
0850: Get hot soya bean or coffee from Mr Bean
0900: Reach office. log in, read newspaper, drink my drink
0930: Try to continue reading newspaper. Try.
1000: Watch SC2 replays on youtube/justintv etc
1100: Stone/read wikipedia articles
1200: Lunch
1300: Continue reading articles/forum
1400: Try to find more stuff to read/watch
1500: Play iPhone
1600: Continue doing all the stuff I mentioned above.
1750: Sign book, get ready to leave
1758: Leave office
Not bad huh
Saturday, January 8, 2011
2 years on and I cant believe I am still dwelling on it, and when another door is opened for me but slammed shut by someone, how are you supposed to recover from the disappointment and regret?
How are you supposed to move on?
I guess you just have to force yourself to do so :/
Sunday, January 2, 2011
I never really believed in setting new year resolutions, but I shall try listing 100 things I wish to complete to remind me of the things that can still be done, though I really think I do not have the willpower to achieve it lol.
1. Continue to give my job a try
2. Then quit it
3. Find a better job for more experience
4. Then quit it for uni
5. Get into hall
6. Try to study
7. Have fun while studying
8. Have more fun in uni
9. Try to be interested in what I am going to study
10. Succeed in it
11. If not fail, and suck thumb and continue
12. Meet more people
13. Have more friends
14. Tahan through the 1st semester
15. Try to be more active
16. Swim more
17. Run more
18. Do a 10 or 10 + km run
19. Then do 21
20. Try wakeboarding again
21. Try surfing at Sentosa
22. Go Sentosa more often. I never really really discovered the whole of it yet
23. Go Sentosa using the new boardwalk with travellators :O
24. I always wanted to play more frisbee
25. Cycle more
26. Can discover East Coast Park, although its less appealing
27. Go Henderson Wave Bridge
28. Then go Mt Faber and see if that E-mart is really that great
29. Catch more fireworks
30. Catch more concerts
31. Catch more movies
32. Catch more sleep
33. Catch more TV shows
34. Finish 'The Pacific'
35. Continue Gossip Girl
36. And BBT
37. And House
38. Watch new season of TAR
39. And maybe Survivor
40. Try Fringe
41. And maybe How I Met Your Mother
42. And maybe one of those incredibly long Taiwan dramas after ai.
43. Go Taiwan again (I hope)
44. Go NYC. I have always wanted to go there after watching GG and wanna see the upper east side myself
45. And Brooklyn to see Dan's loft lol
46. And hudson
47. And Times Square to soak the atmosphere
48. And the bombed WTC/Ground Zero and see if they are really going to build a mosque there
49. And Wall Street to see the scamming bankers
50. And Broadway to watch musicals duh
51. And the big and famous Apple store
52. Go for a backpacking trip in Europe, though I highly doubt it can happen
53. E.g. London to eat the duck rice
54. And Paris to see the eiffel tower and the notre dame and river seine and the louvre
55. And Barcelona to see those nice cathedrals
56. And Amsterdam to experience the city of sex and drug
57. And Copenhagen to see the little mermaid
58. And Berlin to see the Brandenburg gate
59. And Munich to see another gate
60. And Rome to see the colosseum
61. And Pisa to see the leaning tower. It was repaired just recently
62. And Venice to see the gondolas
63. And many other places
64. Via SQ
65. If not other decent airline also can
66. Dont mind Sydney too
67. Bondi Beach!!
68. Actually Siloso beach not bad la
69. Maybe learn to drive
70. Learn the guitar properly. I have not touched it for weeks lol..
71. Learn my zhongruan again. It has black spots le :'(
72. Learn to fix a computer
73. And to jailbreak an iphone
74. Better my skills in SC2
75. My interpersonal skills too
76. Be less agitated
77. Learn to take things in stride
78. Learn to deal things with calm
79. And not be impulsive
80. Be more optimistic
81. Be more friendly
82. Go 21
83. Save up more
84. Get more tuition to sustain my living expenses
85. Get a laptop
86. Read more books
87. And useful magazines
88. Use facial wash diligently, though I probably dont need it :P
89. Get new shoes
90. And maybe new shorts
91. And an Oakleys
92. Eat less
93. Pig less
94. Exercise more
95. Stop giving myself excuse to stay at home and slack even though I want to go out and do sth
96. Try to print this and stick onto my wall
97. Wish that my ultimate dream (as of now) will eventually come true
98. But with hope comes disappointment
99. But I must still work hard towards it
100. And for all the things states above =)
Thursday, December 9, 2010
服完兵役，本来该是一件非常快乐的事，但偏偏在我服完兵役的前一两天，令我感觉到人生的无奈。
我一直认为，做什么事情都要对得起自己，对得起自己的良心。人生短暂，我们不可能应为满足他人的要求而迁就他们。面对你认为是对的事，我们应该站起来，勇敢地说出自己的想法。公私分明，无论是不是你的朋友，当你认为他们做错了事，就不应该迁就他们。当你在我们面前说了一些你根本不会去做的事时，当你为了你自己的面子而说出你会做出一些你永远不会答应的事时，你输的不仅仅是你的可信度，你输的却是我们对你的信任。为了维护你所谓的“朋友“，你这样做不会太可笑了吧。
你说我幼稚，我不管。你说我小气，我可以不理会。你说我爱撒娇，我可以闭着一只眼假装看不见。但是你一而再，再而三地说出那些不对的谎话，难道你不会怕总有一天你会得到报应吗？我对你冷淡，是因为你做工的态度与方法实在让我看不下去。我对你冷淡，是因为当我们需要你的帮助时，你却一走了之。我对你冷淡，是因为你对任何事情漠不关心，就算事情突然闹大了，你也去所谓。你却指责我怪你没有在我回家。你却指责我怪你没有帮我买晚餐。你摸着你的良心，我到底几时对你埋怨了这些事？我到底几时对其他人埋怨了这件事？我好心劝你对某一位同事好一点，那是因为天下所有的人都能看出你总是把不好做的事丢给他做。你却说我故意挑拨离间，说我就是喜欢故意制造障碍。
祸从口出，扔出去的水不可能把它收回来。凡是说出什么话，对谁说出什么事多要过你良心这一关。若你认为今天所说出的每一句话都是真的，那我任命了。但是，我也可以很肯定地告诉你，我如果认为我是对的，我会坚持到底。你能吗？
事情到了这个地步，双方都有错。我错在当时那么地信任你。但是只要我问心无愧，再多的谎言，最多也只会对我造成一时的沮丧，而你的所作所为，令我为你感到一世的悲哀。人生是有一次，该怎么走完完全全靠你。无论任何事，我一定会尽心尽力地去完成它。而我只能看出你得过且过的态度，令我感到无比的伤感。
我也应该学会拿得起，放得下，不应该为了这些忘恩负义的人感到伤心。 毕竟事上还有很多东西等着我去摸索，等我去发觉，而不必为了这些人而伤透脑筋。
Friday, November 12, 2010
I NEED TO FIND A JOB!!!
A DECENT JOB!!!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
For the past few days at home, I realized that I have been missing out a lot of things which I should and can be doing. Yet when I asked you about that thing which concerns my future, your reply was hurtful.
Please ask yourself, since young have I wanted anything? When people around me have psp, ps, gb, even toys when I was really young, I have never ever demanded anything from you at all. When I try to make decisions for myself, you always insisted on your own thinking and make me follow your decisions. Have you ever wondered what was my favourite colour, or food, or my favourite subject? Have you really ever wondered what interests me? Or did you ever ask what my ambitions and beliefs were?
All my life, when you objected to my plans, I always followed and never went ahead with it. You always insisted that you are correct. You make decisions out of a ridiculous fengshui/zodiac book. Does that mean that if I buy 10 books for you I dont even have to leave home, cause somehow some book decides that when I step out of the house I will die? I have always followed what you say, I even decide to stay at home most of the times or else you will get angry (somehow you really hate me going out, even if you deny). But what do I get? Nothing.
Have you really supported me in the things I've done? When I see other parents encouraging their children to pursue what they want to, I feel a tinge of sadness and jealousy. When I do something wrong, you chastise me in front of many. When I have something to be proud of, you boast. So now, I have become something just for display?
I am sick and tired of just listening to you. This is my life. I have a choice to how I want to live it regardless of how young I am. This is how I will learn, not sit back and do everything you wish everyday.